Brand New Children's Book Coming Soon (there's an intense amount of sarcasm in many of my titles)

It's like one of those "if you give a mouse a cookie" books. What do you all think, would anyone read it?
After I typed this all out I realized I have to put in a disclaimer: the following is graphic and disgusting. Proceed at your own risk.

If you injure your back badly enough you'll end up crawling through the house in pain.
While crawling through the house you might vomit that one banana you ate for the day all over the floor.
After throwing up on the floor you'll beg your 2 year old to fetch you the dirty towel over there to at least cover up the mess.
Because you were crawling to the bathroom, left the door open while trying to get to a towel, the dog ate the bathroom trash.
After the dog ate the bathroom trash he got sick and started pooing all over the house. (combination of horrible weak nerves because it's the week of the fourth and fireworks are the end of the world for him and he gets sick when he gets into the bathroom)
I need to start a new chapter: After injuring your back your husband gets really upset/ let down because you had plans to attend a concert in Chicago with him (tickets bought and hotel room pre-paid (no cancellations)).
You go to Chicago anyway because of the pre-paid hotel room and spend way too much money on the trip because you don't want to further frustrate the husband. (couldn't go to the concert because there's NO WAY I could stand that long... Mother in law came along to help...
And instead of walking down to the real fireworks (the pain in the butt ones that are slowly killing my dog that my neighbors have been setting off for a week I just don't even consider fireworks anymore) last night me and the little one watched them from the back yard and I got stung by a bee. Yep.

Okay, it's a crap children's book and kind of thrown together. I could have included so much more but it got depressing after a bit. Needless to say I've had a LONG, LONG, longest week of my life it feels like, week. And now we're on our way to Detroit for a party with my Dad's family and my dad is upset with me for something stupid... For real I feel like I'm being punched in the face from every direction, metaphorically. I want to find a cave and hibernate for at least a month! Anyone know of available caves right now?

I found an amazing chiropractor though. I've done a lot of praying. My back feels a billion times better than last year when I injured it not nearly as bad. So in the grand scheme of things I'm doing great but I feel like I was in a car accident, like everything is just weak and stiff and shaky and my head is a little foggy. Also my brain isn't working too well.

I was trying to not dump this all on you guys but I caved. Sorry.